13 Fics
by SYF
Summary: A collection of drabbles that I wrote for a SephCloud lj community by the name of myprettypuppet. A mix of everything. Warnigns: Slash, Angst, Fluff, and so on. Mainly SephCloud but other pairings intrude from time to time.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a collection of drabbles I wrote for the myprettypuppet livejournal community. It's a Seph/Cloud community but occassionally branches into other pairings. The idea was thirteen fics. I basically made it a free for all and the first thirteen requests got a short drabble. **

Title: Stuck

Word Count: 332

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud (one-sided)

Summary: Cloud was going to kill Zack and Aeris

Requested by: **timberwolf220**

AN: I went for the traditional locked in a room. So sue me.

It was perhaps, useless to pound on a locked door but Cloud was going to try his damn best to get out. "I doubt that is going to do anything, Strife."

Cloud sighed, collapsing on the warm tiles of the bathing room. He was going to murder Zack and Aeris when he saw them again. He really should've seen it coming the moment twin smiles of evil appeared at his ranting about his lack of love life. In retrospect he should've moved halfway across the planet, changed his name, and lived out the rest of his life as a fisherman.

But he hadn't, so here he was trying his damn best not to look at General Sephiroth because nosebleeds were so very undignified. "I know, sir," he said to the floor, "But I have to do _something._"

"Zackary will let us out when he feels ready." It was nice to note that Sephiroth was not embarrassed at all by being locked inside the bathing room with a cadet while wearing only a towel. Not that he had anything to be embarrassed about, Cloud's mind piped up.

"I know, sir," Cloud repeated, "But I think he should know that I'm going to kill him when I get out."

Sephiroth's smile was icy. "Why do that when I can just swamp him under paperwork?" Cloud had to admit, that idea had more merit. With Sephiroth's superior position he could make Zack's life hell. "Meanwhile," Sephiroth continued, "I think you should continue to teach me how to play poker."

Cloud wanted to whimper. Teaching Sephiroth Poker involved looking at the man…no, not 'man'. **God**. "Strife?" There was more than a hint of an order in that voice and, despite being a whimpy little cadet, Cloud was not foolish enough to disobey Sephiroth.

"Yes, sir," he sighed, condemning himself to the torture of having to look upon Sephiroth without collapsing from loss of blood to his brain. He was soooo going to kill Zack and Aeris.

* * *

Title: Worth It

Word Count: 299

Pairing/Characters: Cloud/Seph

Summary: Cloud never even had to think about the answer.

Requested by: **jessara40k**

AN: Wangst Alert!

_Was he worth it_?

Tifa had asked that with confusion in her eyes. He had not been able to answer. That was not her question to ask. He stared at her with blank eyes until she went away, holding onto her torn pride. She never came back.

_Was he worth it?_

Vincent never asked that question. He knew that it was worth it all. Because he loved Him, though on a different level to Cloud, and would have done anything to wash away his sins. However, regardless of that guilt, he had only talked to Him a few times before slipping away from their lives. Perhaps it hurt him to look and see his old lover staring out of His eyes.

_Was he worth it?_

Aerith knew the answer before she even voiced the question. She never expected Cloud to do otherwise. When she had asked him what he wanted in return for saving the planet, she already knew. She had always known. But she never condemned. And for that Cloud would always love her.

_Was he worth it?_

Zack would have answered the same as Cloud. Except with a few profanities involved, because he was Zack and he never held back his emotions. He had been betrayed too but he could forgive because they had been friends…and because it was the evil, space bitch's fault. Cloud knows Zack is waiting for them in the Lifestream.

_Am I worth it?_

He had asked. And Cloud answered. Yes, you are worth all the pain. Yes, you are worth the wait. Yes, you are worth Hojo fucking around with my mind and body. Yes, you are worth it, because now you're mine. Because I own you heart, body, and soul. Because we can never be separated again.

_You are worth everything._

* * *

Title: After Hojo

Word Count: 461

Pairing/Characters: Cloud/Seph-ish

Summary: The aftermath of a Hojo attack.

Requested by: **jessara40k**

AN: I tried, don't know if I succeeded though.

It was midnight when Sephiroth finally got back to his room.

Cloud was waiting.

"You're finally back," was all he said as he took off Sephiroth's gloves and coat. The taller man was too tired to make any sort of reply and he let himself be led to his bed.

Just like every other night when Sephiroth went to 'visit' Hojo, Cloud made Sephiroth lie down on the bed and began massaging the tense back. "I think we should pump Hojo full of prozac and put him in a room with a vladkoros on heat." And just like every other night Cloud never failed to come up with disturbing, and amusing, ways to torture Hojo. "Think about it. Hojo gets laid, the vladkoros gets laid, and then we can flood the room and drown the both of them."

"I'd feel sorry for the vladkoros," Sephiroth muttered.

"...yeah, so would I," Cloud admitted, climbing on to the bed and straddling Sephiroth's back. "Of course, instead of the vladkoros, we could use Heidigger. Then we'd be killing two birds with one stone, or one prozac to be more precise." The lithe fingers of the cadet began digging into Sephiroth's back, almost painfully. "Then if we add President Shinra to the mix we'd kill three birds."

"Tell me, Cloud," Sephiroth asked lazily, "Do you usually spend your spare time coming up with the most disturbing threesome that would never happen?"

"I'm a horny teenager who's not getting laid enough, what can I say?"

"You make it sound like you're not satisfied with me."

"Well," Cloud drawled, trailing a hand down Sephiroth's back, "Zack's looking pretty good to me right at the moment."

"Try that and I'd have to kill Zack."

Sephiroth could hear the smile in Cloud's voice as the hands dipped lower. "You won't kill me?"

"Why would I do that? Then I'd have no one to tie me up and have his way with me. I'm vengeful, not desperate for celibacy."

"Well, it seems that you'll have to celibate for a little while. No sex while you're recovering."

A grimace twisted Sephiroth's lips. "Fantastic. Not only does that man ruin my childhood, he also ruins my sex life."

"Eewww, no relating Hojo to our sex life please."

"Go to sleep, Cloud. You have a big day tomorrow."

Cloud shifted so he was lying beside Sephiroth rather than on top of him. "It's just the SOLDIERS prelim," he mocked, smoothing back the silver hair of his lover. "What could go wrong?"

Sephiroth smiled, amused with the way Cloud brushed off something so important. "Thank you," he whispered. He knew Cloud understood. _Thank you for being here. Thank you for looking after me. Thank you for caring. Thank you for not leaving._

* * *

Title: Sky High

Word Count: 433

Pairing/Characters: Chaos/Cid

Summary: The closest Cid believes he can come to flying is standing on the prow of the Highwind, Chaos shows him otherwise.

Requested by: **ladykareth**

AN: I like the movie, not the song

Cid loves flying. He loves the Highwind and the Tiny Bronco. They gave him a freedom he had always dreamt of. He loves having the wind battering his body, washing him clean. He loves looking down and seeing the ground far below him. He loves flying. But he did not love flying when the only thing keeping him in the air is a crazy demon.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?!" Cid is so very glad that no one else can see or hear him right now. He is clinging like a barnacle to the red-cloaked demon, his face as pale as snow.

A chuckle comes from the demon. "I thought you wanted to know what real flying was, captain."

"I told Vinnie that, not you!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I am a part of Vicent, just as he is a part of me. Everything he hears, sees, tastes, and feels is mine to experience."

"Oh yeah? And what does he think of this?"

"He's laughing his head off."

"Fucking sadistic Turks."

"Stop worrying, I'm not going to drop you," a pause, "Until I do that is."

"I fucking hate you, you prick."

"That's not what you said last night. In fact you were very adamant in your approval of me. What was it? 'Oh sweet Jesus Christ, fuck me harder' or something like that."

Cid falls back on the mantra that he had been using ever since he met Vincent. _I will not blush, I will not blush, I will not blush_. Obviously it wasn't working because Chaos is still laughing. "Stop laughing," he mutters.

Chaos's laughter fades away and they are stranded in an island of silence in the middle of the air. "This is flying, captain. What you do when you stand on the Highwind is piloting. Piloting can never replace this. When you fly, the wind tears at all your facades until only the core is left. It purifies you."

Cid understands. Standing on the prow of the Highwind was the closest he had ever been to flying but this was the real thing. And it was everything he had ever dreamt of. It isn't too bad either that Vinnie/Chaos is here to share it with him.

Of course, that was until Chaos starts molesting him. "What the fuck are you doing you fr – oh God."

"I'd suggest you be very still and quiet, Highwind. We wouldn't want your friends looking up and seeing this, do you?"

_I will not blush. I will not blush. I will not blush. I will not blush…dammit, I'm blushing._

* * *

Title: Reality Sucks

Word Count: 231

Pairing/Characters: Seph, Zack

Summary: A realistic look at why Seph/Cloud could not have worked

Requested by: **fantasia0829**

AN: Angst, I guess.

"Why not?"

"Hmm, because."

"Whhyyyy nooooot?"

Sephiroth sighed. "Just because, Zack."

"But you like him. And I'm sure he likes you back. What's not to like? General of the Shinra Army and beautiful to boot," Zack appealed, puppy dog-look in full force.

"Precisely. He likes me because of that. And I refuse to lust after someone who just likes me because I happen to be pretty."

"It's Cloud," Zack pointed out, "He likes everyone, he just happens to like you especially. Is that so bad?"

"He's fifteen," Sephiroth deadpanned. "I'm twenty-six. Do you think I need to have the charge of paedophilia hanging over my head? And he's a cadet as well. Accusations of favouritism are the least of the problems we'll have to deal with when someone finds out."

"So you're just being a coward?" Zack demanded.

Sephiroth looked up, a warning in his eyes. "I would prefer to think of myself as being cautious. I am the General of Shinra, I cannot afford attachments to anyone, least of all to an insignificant cadet. How do you think Hojo would react if he found out I had a lover?"

This made Zack pause. Hojo would not be happy to say the least. There would be a whole lot of pain in Cloud's future if Hojo ever found out. "…Sucks to be you."

A brief smile danced over Sephiroth's face. "Yeah."

* * *

Title: Karaoke of Doom

Word Count: 435

Pairing/Characters: Seph, Cloud, Zack, SOLDIERS

Summary: Zack is insane, Cloud is an accomplice, and Sephy is just pissed.

Requested by: **mogumogu**

AN: Britany Spears and Eminem songs are used because I find it amusing to imagine Sephy rapping.

"Sometimes I wonder about your intelligence."

Zackary Donovan grinned at the insult. He had the upper hand this time and he could be enough of a gracious winner to let Sephiroth get away with a snipe or two. "Now, now, sir," he placated, "No need to be such a sore loser. You had no idea that Cloud could be so good at Poker, but you did say you would do any favour he asked." The blond boy in question looked from the grinning Zack to the enraged Sephiroth, and wisely got out of the way.

"This is not a favour, this is blackmail."

Zack kept on grinning. He had known from the start that there was almost nothing that Sephiroth loved more than his sword. And the thought of it being dipped in Chocobo urine made Sephiroth as panicked as anything would, though he hid that panic well.

The plan was perfect. Cloud was a genius in Poker, and that genius spread to lock picking. All Zack had to do was distract Sephiroth long enough for Cloud to _borrow_ the masamune, then provoke the Perfect SOLDIER into playing Poker. He had known Sephiroth would never agree to karaoke but when masamune was involved it was a whole different ball game. "No, this is more in the nature of incentive," he told his superior.

Gloved hands clenched into tight fists. "Incentive?" the General growled.

"Yep," Zack confirmed. "If you refuse to pay the forfeit then we drop your pretty little sword. You're fast, but not that fast."

"Then what are they doing here?" Sephiroth's stony gaze swept over the other inhabitants of the room, all of them First Class SOLDIERS. A few quailed under the stare but others were struggling to hide a smile. Sephiroth i _knew /i _ it was a bad idea to allow Zack to train all the new First SOLDIERS.

"They paid to watch," Zack continued cheerfully, "Got quite a neat little sum too."

Sephiroth sighed. "Tell me Zack, how do you manage to pull so many people into this idiotic scheme?"

"By being a great advertiser," was the quick reply. "Especially with Cloud's help, he was in it right from the start."

Sephiroth cast a mild glare at the cadet who grinned. "Sorry sir, Zack corrupted me," the boy told him.

Zack clapped his hand. "So, what'll it be, the song or the drop? Times a-wasting."

"The…song," Sephiroth squeezed out between clenched teeth.

The grin Zack sported almost split his face in half, and Sephiroth was very tempted to complete the job. "Perfect. Now, I have 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' or 'Stan'."

* * *

Title: Envy

Word Count: 355

Pairing/Characters: Zack/Cloud

Summary: Cloud has jealously issues

Requested by: **sascharin**

AN: First Z/C I've ever written. I hope I did it well.

He was not jealous. He was not jealous. He was _really_ not jealous.

Oh, what the hell! Yes, he was jealous. He really, really was. Why wouldn't he be when his crush was getting very touchy-feely with everyone _but_ him?

THUNK!

That was the sound of his head hitting the bar. Already he could feel eyes on him but not the pair of eyes that he wanted. It started out as a small crush, but Zack was so damn friendly and touchy that it inevitably grew into more. So here he was, Cadet Cloud Strife, SOLDIER candidate, and pathetic school boy. It was even worse that he couldn't drink his sorrows away because he was underage by a month. A month!

"You okay, Cloud?" A part of Cloud leapt up in joy even as the other parts quailed under the rush of hormones. _Stupid puberty,_ Cloud grumbled in his mind.

"I'm fine," he squeaked, looking up at his friend.

Zack grinned that irrepressible grin and all was right with the world. "Sorry for abandoning you, but you could be out there enjoying all of this too, y'know."

"I'm fine," Cloud muttered, staring into his ginger ale. "You seem to be taking care of everything yourself."

A hand flicked his ears. "You sound jealous."

_Yes, yes I am,_ Cloud's mind sniped. But knowing Zack he would assume Cloud was jealous of him for getting all the girls. Zack had a sixth sense for everyone else's relationship problems but when it came to his own, he was as blind as a bat and as deaf as a worm. It made things very difficult for Cloud. "It's nothing, Zack. I'm just tired."

Zack made a cooing noise and ruffled Cloud's hair. "Aww, just let me finish up this drink and we can go back. Okay?"

Maybe it was nothing for Zack to give up his flirting for a tired friend but Cloud took it as a sign. There still was hope. And if all else failed, he could just tie Zack up and have his way with him. Secretly, Cloud was hoping things would go down that path.

* * *

Title: We Are A Family

Word Count: 389

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud, and the silver trio

Summary: Then comes Cloud with baby carriages

Requested by: **vasher**

AN: Cloud in an apron

"MUUUUMM! Loz punch me again!"

"He was trying to shoot me!"

When the Planet told him that he would have to ensure an event like Reunion never happened again, he did not expect this. If he had, he would've told the Planet to go to hell. But here he was, stuck in a house with three pint-sized Sephiroth clones, having to play 'mother'. Apparently without Jenova around, they needed a caretaker and the Planet designated Cloud as the one. He would swear Aeris had a hand in it.

"Loz, don't punch your brother, and Yazoo, if you have to shoot something, shoot a damn tree." Loz was a bully and Yazoo was a whiny brat, and that was not the best mix.

"Mummy swore" a singsong voice piped up. "That's bad." Kadaj was even worse. He was like the love child of Sephiroth and Zack – and yeah, that was an image he did not need in his head. Snarky and mischievous in turn, Cloud was _thisclose_ to locking the boy away in his room forever.

"Kadaj, get off the table. Tables are not meant to be sat on."

Wide aqua eyes looked at Cloud innocently. Cloud was not fooled. "But daddy does."

"Yes, well, there's a reason mummy smacks daddy whenever he does that," Cloud said clearly, adding to himself in a low mutter, "Not least because having to eat where he put his fat butt is very disgusting."

"So it freaks you out that I might've sat there but you don't mind it that the family eats where you and I had sex," a husky voice whispered into his ears. Cloud barely kept from flinching.

"Shut up," Cloud hissed. He really didn't need to explain to the trio the concept of the birds and the birds.

Sephiroth chuckled. "Awww, is little Cloud embarrassed? Does he want a cookie?" Cloud had no problem with reviving Sephiroth but did he have to have that arrogant, know-it-all attitude?

Then Cloud got an idea. "Boys, you know what?" he asked the silver-haired trio, "I think daddy would like to play dress-up with you."

The fact that he would most definitely be sleeping on the couch for the next month or so was worth it just to see that look of perfect terror on Sephiroth's face as the children tackled him in joy.

* * *

Title: Lick Me Sweet

Word Count: 388

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud, Zack

Summary: Cloud is eeeevviillll

Requested by: **shymagical**

AN: Fluff, thank God.

Zack had no idea Cloud could be so evil. With those baby blue eyes, the mop of blonde hair, and that innocent look, Cloud was a poster boy for purity. The personality obviously did not match the looks because right at this moment, Poster Boy was slowly torturing the most powerful man on the planet with an evil glint in his eyes.

Zack looked from evil!Cloud to Sephiroth. The dark haired man knew his superior long enough to notice all the signs of tension that were there. Sephiroth was trying to work and Zack had to give him credit for his determination, but the General's capitulation was inevitable. But really, who could concentrate on work when a cute little blond was sitting right in front of him and licking ice cream with all the enjoyment of an addict.

"Mmm," Cloud moaned, licking the icy desert as he cast a seductive glance at his lover. "You sure you _have _to work, Sephy?"

If there was ever an award for 'The Most Determined Cadet To Get Laid', Zack would've immediately nominated Cloud. He was so proud of his little protégé. It took real guts to keep tempting someone as repressed as Sephiroth. There was a good chance that when Sephiroth finally broke, Cloud would not be able to walk straight ever again. "I'm fine," gritted out the focus of all of Cloud's salacious actions. Then Sephiroth turned to Zack, unable to cope with the sight of Cloud molesting the ice cream. "And don't you have _work_ to do, Lieutenant?"

Zack bit his tongue to keep the grin off his face. "All done, sir. I'd rather enjoy the show," he added with a wink for Cloud. Sephiroth glared and it was worth every second of it.

Cloud seemed to get tired of being ignored for more than ten seconds and proceeded to tongue the ice cream once more. Zack was pleased to note that Sephiroth immediately paid attention to the blonde cadet. "C'mon, Seph," Cloud enticed, "Are you absolutely sure you have to work?"

"Yes."

"…Awww, so you don't wanna lick _my _ ice cream?"

That did it. Five minutes later Zack left the room because quite frankly watching his superior and his protégé tongue each other was not worth it without at least getting a photo with which to blackmail them.

* * *

Title: Storm Child

Word Count: 319

Pairing/Character: Seph/Zack/Cloud (implied)

Summary: Cloud is a freaky storm child

Requested by: **gryphonchik**

AN: my OT3 for FFVII

Some days, Sephiroth just wanted to stay in bed. Some days he wanted to be anywhere but in bed, mainly because between Cloud and Zack it was a wonder he got any rest. And some days he just wanted to kill Zack. Today was one of those days.

"Why in the name of Gaia, are we out in the biggest storm to hit Midgar in thirty years?" He had to yell to be heard and even then he had the feel Zack was actually reading his lips.

"Looking for Cloud," he read from Zack's lip movement.

"Why would he be out here?" he shouted. Zack looked back blankly. Rolling his eyes, though he hated showing any emotion, he pulled his friend closer. "Why would he be out here!!" he yelled into Zack's ear.

"Dancing!" Zack yelled back, indicating a point beyond Sephiroth's shoulder. The general turned around and found a blonde-haired cadet dancing across the roof in a pagan manner.

Sephiroth sighed. He should've stayed in bed. He stalked his way to the blonde boy, who stopped as soon as he saw the great General. "Hey, Sephy!!"

Sephiroth pulled Cloud closer to him, trying not to notice how the thin uniform clung to Cloud's boy, "What are you doing here?!"

"Dancing, wanna dance with me?"

Then Zack was there. "C'mon, Cloud! It's fucking cold and you have an exam tomorrow!!"

"NO!"

"CLOUD!!"

"ZACK!!!"

Sephiroth took a deep breath. This was going to go on forever if he didn't step in. "CADET STRIFE! Obey your superior officers."

Cloud looked ready to yell back and was opening his mouth to do so…then the rain suddenly stopped, silence crashing down on them like four tons of bricks. "…Okay." Smiling sunnily he stepped away from the railings.

Both Sephiroth and Zack watched dumbly as their friend walked away. Sephiroth sighed and rubbed his temple. He knew he should've stayed in bed this morning.

* * *

Title: Of Strays and Names

Word Count: 436

Pairing: Seph/Zack/Cloud

Summary: It is confused by the new environment

Requested by: **failedbutterfly**

AN: I should name my cat Sephy

It couldn't understand the human that picked it up. The human had dark hair and kind hazel eyes. And it couldn't understand why the human just didn't ignore it like all the others did. The human had cradled it to his chest and carried him away from the body of its mother, whispering words of comfort.

"Another stray?" This human was just as strange as the first one with his silver hair and aqua eyes. "Don't we have our hands full with Cloud?"

"Hey!" the third one protested. "I'm not a stray, am I?" This one was younger than the others and more open. It struggled in the grasp of the dark-haired one, panicked by the suddenly constrictiveness of its environment. Thankfully the human released it, gently setting it on the floor.

"C'mon, Seph," the dark-haired one said, "Pleeease!! It's so cute and it looks just like you."

"It does not," 'Seph' replied huffily. It bound over to this interesting human that was supposed to look like it.

"Actually," the golden haired one, 'Cloud', argued, "It does, kinda. I mean aqua cats-eyes and silver fur. I think we should keep it. Pleeeeaaase!!" It added its own large, pleading eyes to the ones Cloud was directing at the Alpha Male. Although Seph sighed, he nodded reluctantly.

"Fine. But you clean up after it."

"Kick ass! Firstly, it needs a name," the dark-haired one noted, "How about 'Sephy'?"

"No," Seph refuted immediately. "We might as well name it Hojo."

Cloud grimaced, scratching a spot behind its head. "Er…no. Zack's right. I think Sephy will do." He looked down at it, a smile on his face. "What do you think?"

It paused to consider the name. Sephy. It had a nice ring to it. Sephy mewed, rubbing his head against Cloud's hand. He liked the name. Cloud grinned triumphantly. "See? It's such a cute name too, 'Sephy'."

Sephy glared at both of them. "I hate you both."

'Zack' smirked. "That's all right, we love you, don't we?" he asked Cloud who nodded.

"Yep. And we'd be happy to show it to you, when we finish cooking." The two men kissed Seph on his cheeks and sauntered off to the kitchen. Seph looked from them down to Sephy.

The two cat-like creatures stared at one another for a moment, Sephy entranced by the long silver hair that was just begging to be chewed on. "Touch it and die, cat," Seph snarled before stalking off, muttering something about strays and ridiculous names that Zack gave them. Sephy mewed to itself. He wasn't worried. He would get Seph's hair sooner or later.

* * *

Title: Watch the Sun

Word Count: 504

Pairing/Characters: Seph+Zack, with a touch of Cloud

Summary: How could anyone survive such a place?

Requested by: **overcastxanadu**

AN: Wutai War as well as a mention of Cloud.

Eat. Sleep. Fight. And you could survive the war for a day, only to repeat the cycle when the sun dawned again. There was never any time to contemplate the futility of what they were doing, or the insanity of attempting to conquer such a small nation. Shinra didn't care that soldiers were dying right, left, and centre, creating a whole river of blood with each clash. As long as Shinra Inc. became the leader of the world, they would cheerfully throw their soldiers into a massacre. Paranoia became second nature, fear became ingrained, and death became a comrade.

Maybe it wasn't too surprising that after a while the spirit began to fall, asking questions that could not be answered.

_Why do we do this? How many more have to die before we can say we won? Would people remember this as more than a little footnote in history?_

Zack knew better than to question Shinra. Those that did tended to meet the Turks in a lonely alley for a little 'chat', particularly since he was so high up in the hierarchy. But he could not help the questions running through his head.

_Am I ever going back home? Will there be a home to go back to? How long before another war, like this one, starts? How am I going to survive in this hell hole?_

"Zack!" the sharp command brought him back to the real world and he barely dodged a blow from a Wutaian. Before he could react, the enemy collapsed, a large katana having cut him down. He looked up to the one person who never had any of the doubts he had. Perhaps because he didn't need to doubt. General Sephiroth was sure to survive the war regardless of…anything.

"Thanks, sir," he greeted tiredly.

"Pay attention!" Sephiroth barked as he turned away, his mind already moving to the next five moves he was going to make.

Zack nodded to his superior's back, rallying to try another strike at the almost impenetrable defence of the Wutaians.

Eat. Sleep. Fight. And if you're lucky, you'll survive this war with at least a small part of your sanity and humanity intact. There is nothing but the heat of the sun, the rush of adrenaline, the flow of blood. Even when you rest your mind is always going to be on the next battle, trying to figure out how to improve your chances of survival. Then the sound of soldiers dying will reach your ears and you scramble for your blade, readying yourself for another attack, readying yourself to die.

Years later on, Cloud would ask him how he survived such a horrible war and Zack would smile and make a joke. Because when it's over, when it's all done, it's easier to joke about it then to say 'well, I kept telling myself I'm going to die, that I'm never going to make it out alive. Only then could I give my all'. It's easier to lie than to relive the nightmare.

* * *

Title: Turks

Word Count: 259

Pairing: Cloud+Tseng (one-sided)

Summary: If only Cloud had become a Turks

Requested by: **deviatesellen**

AN: I don't think I got to put in as much Tsen/Cloud as I wanted.

Cloud would never forget the day he was considered for the Turks. It involved tripping over his feet and falling on top of Tseng, and then verbally abusing the man (from now on he was going to find out who the person was before insulting him or her) and stomping off to training. That had resulted in Tseng following him around and observing him until one day the man pulled him aside and told him he was now part of the Turks program. Cloud had been too stunned to even consider arguing back and by the time he had regained his equilibrium, it was too late.

"Sir, I really think I'm better suited to the sword."

Tseng smiled. "Unfortunately, the Turks are less flamboyant than SOLDIERS. That means you will have to find more discrete weapons."

Cloud looked from his superior to the twin stilettos in his hands. "But, knives?"

"With your build, I doubt you could use anything else. And besides, we do need a blade specialist to fill in the gap." He was so calm, so collected, so very creepy.

But, Cloud's mind noted, he was also very hot. His heart was always going to be set on Sephiroth, but Cloud was a teenager and his libido was decidedly less choosy than his affections.

"Strife! Are you just going to stand there? You are a cadet, which means you are lower than the dirt on my shoes. Understand? Now, MOVE!"

Of course, if Tseng continued to be such an arse, even his libido might have second thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: A second collection of stories. The theme was 'school' and includes AU, crossovers, and random mixing of timelines. Concrits would be appreciated.  
**

Title: The Fanclub

Word Count: 379

Pairing/Characters: Seph+Cloud

Summary: In which Cloud finds out that there's more to Sephiroth that he had assumed.

Requested by: **timberwolf220**

AN: I wish I could find a more imaginative title for it.

It was Friday, after school when Cloud sprinted into Tifa's room and collapsed on the bed. "I'm being stalked," the blonde announced, to which his best friend and ex-crush replied to with laughter. Cloud pouted. "I'm serious. I'm being stalked. Look!" He grabbed his large school bag and upended the contents all over Tifa's bed. An avalanche of letters and boxes tumbled out, forming a pile almost as big as Cloud's diminutive form.

"Oh my god. Chocolates? They give you chocolates? Why the hell don't I get chocolates?"

"You don't have a fanclub," Cloud replied flatly.

Tifa looked carefully from her friend to the envelopes that accompanied the chocolates. "_You_ have a fanclub?" Her voice could not get anymore doubtful if she tried.

Cloud nodded. "Fan club. 'Cloud's so cute and he's going to grow up to be such a hottie so let's make a fan club', is I think the rationale for it." He collapsed back on the bed with a sigh. "Honestly, do they think I want a group of stalker obsessive people following me around?"

"Mmhmm," Tifa muttered, her eyes focussed on the letters instead of on Cloud. Joining Cloud on the bed she opened a few of the letters and scanned them with quick eyes. "Y'know, some of these names are pretty surprising. I mean, look at 'em; Yuffie, Elena, even some teachers too. And wow, you have a few guy admirers. Reno – I didn't even know he knew you, Denzel – yeah, he always worshipped you, Rufus – doesn't he beat you up all the time, and. . .oh my god!"

A tousled blonde head popped up. "What?"

"Do you know who the president of your fanclub is?" Tifa strangled out the words, staring at the letter in her hand with a half-grimace/half-smile.

"Uh. . .no. It's a pretty well kept secret, even from me."

"Yeah, I can see why." Tifa handed the pale pink letter to him. Cloud accepted the letter, looked at the bottom, promptly dropped it in shock.

"S – S – Se – "

" – Sephiroth," she finished for him.

"Sephiroth's – he's – "

" – your number one stalker," Tifa finished once again, paused, and added with a wicked grin, "Good going Cloud, you actually caught the number one bachelor in our school."

"Oh. My. God."

* * *

Title: Densaugeo

Word Count: 301

Pairing/Characters: Seph, Cloud, Zack, Aeris, Tifa

Summary: Zack sucks at spells

Requested by: **shymagical**

AN: Honestly, I have no idea if Shrivelfig oil and Doxys blood even exist in the HP world.

"Awww, poor Cloud," Aeris cooed, petting the hair of her young friend. Beside her, Tifa was glaring icy daggers at Zack.

"What did you do?" the dark-haired Gryffindor hissed to the frustrated male.

Zack cringed from the pure fury of his sister's scowl. "I didn't mean to. Cloud just got caught up in the usual Gryffindor-Slythering morning greetings," he defended himself. Then he looked at the blonde Hufflepuff who was sporting the largest pair of incisors Hogwarts had ever seen. "Okay, maybe more than got caught up in."

"He got hexed because you were stupid!"

"He got hexed because Zack was clumsy," a cool voice drawled, interrupting Tifa and Zack's face off. Sephiroth smirked at the look on their faces. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt a family meeting?" he asked.

"Seph!" Zack's shocked look melted into relief. If there was anyone capable of helping them, it was Sephiroth, Slytherin, best friend, and wizard extraordinaire. "Help me out here. Elena cast a weird version of _densaugeo_ and Cloud got hit. We've tried the shrinking charm, shrinking potion, _and_ tried rubbing on a mix of Shrivelfig oil and Doxys blood. None of them worked."

Sephiroth stepped up to Cloud, a small frown wrinkling his forehead. He tilted the boy's face up, turning it this way and that. "Hmm," he pulled out his wand and placed it at Cloud's mouth. "_Finite Incantatem_," Sephiroth intoned.

A second later, Cloud was perfectly fine, if a little grumpy. He cast an injured look at Zack with those big blue eyes that could guilt trip Professor Draco Malfoy into ignoring him when he accidentally managed to stuff up a potion. "You suck," he announced, stalking out of the room.

"No I don't! I'm just a little slow on the up – hey! Where're you all going? OI, COME BACK!!"

* * *

Title: Headache Inducing

Word Count: 534

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud, Lucrezia, Zack

Summary: "If it wasn't so cute Lucrezia might have slapped her son around for being so emotionally constipated."

Requested by: **fantasia0829**

AN: In case you're wondering, Lucrezia is the school doctor, and Vincent is a lawyer.

"I fell over."

"I walked into a pole, accidentally."

"I walked into the door."

"A rabid dog attacked me."

". . .my sister bitch slapped me?"

Doctor Lucrezia Valentine looked at the nervous young man in front of her. "Your sister must train with weights to mess up your face _that_ much." It was amazing how many people had turned up this year with various injuries, not fatal but painful, only to claim that it was an accident. She was fairly sure it was the work of her son, Sephiroth, because he was probably the only one beside Rufus Shinra who could intimidate people that much.

"Hey, Mrs L." Zackary Donovan, her son's best friend, stepped into the room. He took one look at Biggs and whistled appreciatively. "Damn, Seph's good." Lucrezia sighed. Just as she had suspected.

She finished up cleaning up the young man's face and sent him off. "So what's the reason Sephiroth beat up a child two years younger than him?"

"Cloud," Zack said with relish. She'd though as much. Ever since Sephiroth set eyes on the little blond, he had been acting strange. He made fun of Cloud, mocked him, teased him, aggravated him but if anyone other than himself even looked at Cloud the wrong way, that person tended to appear in her office an hour later with a broken nose and a flimsy excuse. If it wasn't so cute Lucrezia might have slapped her son around for being so emotionally constipated (Zack's words, not hers).

She put away the band-aids and cotton balls. "What are the chances that he'll actually do something about it?" she asked rhetorically, "I don't think my stock of codeine can take it anymore."

"Well," Zack drawled, grinning like the cat that got the canary, "I think I've actually managed to get through his emotional vortex and prompted him into doing something."

Lucrezia looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"I told him that Reno was showing an unprecedented amount of attention to Cloud. I may have hinted that if he didn't act soon Reno, or someone else, was going to get to Spiky first. I think he got the point." Zack pointed out the window of her office, which overlooked the car park, "He should be doing something now." Confused, Lucrezia looked out to see Cloud – who could miss his hair – exiting the school. She was wondering what was so remarkable about this scene when someone called out the boy's name. To her pleasant surprise, it was her son. This was a first. Sephiroth actually saying his name instead of using some derogatory nickname.

Understandably, Cloud froze, falling into a defensive posture. "What now?" Lucrezia heard him ask.

Sephiroth did not answer. At least, not verbally. Lucrezia watched with shock and no little amusement as he strode forward, grabbed the smaller boy by the arms and kissed him hard. She choked on the next breath she took. "I see," she said, straining to keep her voice level.

Shaking her head, Lucrezia turned away from the window. Fantastic. Instead of a sullen, sulky teenager, she would have to put up with a love-sick one. She could already feel the headaches creeping up on her.

* * *

Title: Luck be a Lady

Word Count: 449

Pairing/Characters: Seph+Cloud

Summary: Zack's suggestions, even if weird, can have a good result as Cloud finds out

Requested by: **dlokikitsune**

AN: Yes, Cloud is drama student.

_Trust me he said, these leather pants will work he said, the makeup will definitely get Seph's attention he said. Well he never said anything about getting detention._

Zack was stupid, Cloud decided right then and there as he waited to see the principal. Zack was a stupid, manipulative, and pushy friend. And the next time he suggested anything like this, Cloud was going to smack him down.

With a pout Cloud slouched in his seat. He only wanted to get Sephiroth's attention. He most definitely did not intend to run into Professor Hojo, accidentally breaking one of his test tubes. In a fit of fury the man blew a gasket and told Cloud off for his 'promiscuous garments and lack of coordination'. Well, the man had used stronger words that that, but the result of the rant was that Cloud was severely mortified (did Hojo have to have a fit in the middle of the hallway?) and he was now waiting to get told off even more by Principal Shinra.

And to make it even better he saw the object of his obsession walking towards him with that trademark smirk of sexiness. He shrunk back even further in the seat. What he would give to be anywhere but here. He crossed his fingers and hoped to Lady Luck that he was somehow miraculously blending into the seat.

No luck. Sephiroth stopped right in front of him. "You're Zack's little friend, right?" Cloud nodded automatically, mesmerised by the amused green gaze directed at him. He could stare into those eyes forever...or not, because there were other more interesting things about Sephiroth that was vying for his attention.

Then those eyes were scanning him from head to toes, sweeping over the pants, the red sleeveless shirt, over which was a black fishnet shirt, the red ribbon around his throat, and then stopped at the charcoal-lined eyes. "Cute. Zack's girlfriend knows her stuff," Sephiroth commented, correctly identifying the person who had made him up. Then he stopped, tilting his head and studying Cloud as if he were an interesting specimen. "You're in the drama club," he stated and Cloud nodded to confirm. "I quite liked _Twelfth Night_. Maybe we should grab a coffee when we have time. After all, I should know the people my stepbrother associates with." With a wink for the stupefied Cloud, he swept into the office.

Cloud stared into space for a whole five minutes. Sephiroth just talked to him, called him cute, and implied that he would talk to him in the future. He carefully lifted his hand and pinched his arm. Then winced as the pain registered in his mind.

_Well. . . hot damn._

* * *

Title: Angel in Cloud

Word Count: 441

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud, Zack's POV

Summary: Being subtle is an art. The Cloud way. And the Sephiroth way. A continuation to 'Luck be a Lady'.

Requested by: lj user"**emberandash**"

AN: The song doesn't actually exist to my knowledge. It's one of my own.

Aeris will tell you, I'm a champion at subtle flirtation. I can be halfway way across the classroom from a person and still have him or her _know_ that they were the one I wanted. It's a gift. But honestly, I never knew that my stepbrother and his boy toy could do that as well. Okay, I should've known that Seph could because he can do anything. But Cloud? That boy's so shy and so quiet I'm surprised he can speak, much less flirt.

But watching them, I have to say, I'm impressed. No one notices that when Cloud's looking around, he's actually checking out Seph's body with a salacious look, and by the way my stepbrother's posing, he is well aware it. Or that when Seph walks by he always finds an excuse to touch Cloud even if it's just a brush of the hands. And when Seph comes over to talk to me, it's actually Cloud he's talking to. And when Cloud 'accidentally' trips it's always Seph he lands on.

And right now, Seph's talking about music. "New song. Here." Seph's the songwriter and singer of the band that consists of Reno, Squall, him, and me. We call ourselves 'Sin Harvest' courtesy of Seph.

"Really?"

"Take a look and tell me what you think."

I look at the title for the song. "_Angel in Cloud_," I read out loud and promptly choke. And to my right I hear Aeris gulp down fits of laughter. Oh dear God. The implications!! I sneak a look at Cloud and instead of the blush that he would normally be sporting, he was snickering. A month ago he would've been red as a fire truck but time spent with Seph has corrupted his innocence. Such a pity.

Then I read the rest of the song. Dark and disturbing, what a surprise. Thank God I'm here to inject a few fun songs into our repertoire. "Got the music to it, yet?" I ask.

"No. I'll get it done on the weekend."

"Why not tonight?" Normally he'd be all over it like a hungry flea on a dog. Bad image there.

He smirks and looks directly at Cloud as he says, "I've got a date with a pretty blonde." Cloud ducks his head like he's embarrassed that the great Sephiroth is even looking at him. But I think it's just because he's afraid he's going to burst out laughing at the uproar that greets Sephiroth's remarks. "_Angel in Cloud _ will have to come later." Every single word is drowning under innuendoes.

OH GOD! I think I'm going to have to wash out my mind's eyes now.

* * *

Title: Face to Face

Word Count: 563

Pairing/Characters: Kadaj/Zack

Summary: It's surprising the types of people you can meet in a bathing room.

Requested by: **drkangelyahriel**

AN: It's crack but it could work. Instead of Zack being the chaser, he's the chasee.

Zack was in a good mood. He'd just finished sparring with Claude, his room mate (and kicked his ass too), and he was now on his way to the bathing rooms for some time in the hot tubs. With any luck it would only be him tonight because he abhorred having to share.

When he arrived it seemed that his wish would be granted, until he spied a hazy shape in the steam. From where he stood in the doorway it was difficult to tell who it was, much less whether it was someone Zack would be better off not annoying. "Excuse me?" he called out. "Can I come in?"

The figure moved, probably to turn around. "Certainly. I'm sure there's enough space for two," was the answer Zack got. The cadence was familiar, though younger than Zack suspected. He contemplated going to bed but his aching body demanded a hot bath and it would be damned if it was leaving on account of one person. Giving in to his body's demands he ventured in further, shedding his clothes as soon as he reached a bench. A survey of the other person's clothes revealed that he was probably a student as well.

Zack slipped into the water a moment after, an involuntary sigh escaping his lips. The other person shifted when he got in and it was only a few seconds before Zack realised that the person was moving towards him. His eyes strained to make out who it was, his curiosity getting the better of him.

It was the aqua eyes that first caught his interest. The eyes cut through the steam with its own brilliance, landing on Zack. Zack knew most of the people in the academy but he was pretty sure none of them had aqua eyes, or at least, not _that_ particular shade. His eyes wandered over vague features as the person moved closer and closer. "I'm surprised to find anyone here. I though most people would be at dinner," the person mused.

Zack was just about to nod but his eyes caught on the silver hair. i Silver hair i . His eyes widened. The person immediately stopped. "I'm not who you think. I'm his brother."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm one of Sephiroth's younger brothers. Call me Kadaj." Kadaj smiled, an ironic curl of the lips that held a hint of a seductive smirk. "And you must be Zack."

"Uh."

Kadaj held out a hand, which Zack grasped dazedly. He wasn't even aware Sephiroth had a family. Kadaj smiled at his amazement. Turning the hand he held, Kadaj leaned down to place a kiss on the back. "Nice to meet you, Zack." Now, Zack was an accomplished lady's man and as straight as a ruler but he had to admit the sultry voice had him doubting his sexuality. A lot.

The doubting was not helped by Kadaj standing up to reveal _everything_. It was a struggle for Zack to keep his eyes above the waist. Kadaj and Sephiroth shared similar body types: Gorgeous. If Kadaj noticed his intense staring, he gave no indication of it. "I suspect I'll be seeing a lot more of you, Zack – " it should be illegal to put that much innuendo into a name " – Until then."

Then he was gone and Zack was left alone in the bath to contemplate the shaky nature of his sexuality.

* * *

Title: Rainy Silences

Word Count: 358

Pairing/Characters: Seph, Zack, Cloud

Summary: The rain offered another kind of protection from reality

Requested by: **gryphonchik**

AN: nope, got nothing to say here.

"So um. . .why're we here?"

Cloud smiled. "Because you promised me anything for my birthday."

The dark-haired youth on Cloud's right shook his head. "No. I mean why're we out here? In the rain. With no umbrella." Zack hugged his drenched jacket closer to his body in a vain attempt to get warm.

"Because you love me?" Cloud suggested.

Sephiroth, on Cloud's left, snorted at the suggestion. "Not after this little request," he deadpanned, a small smile taking the sting out of his words. "I think he's going to be more careful about how he words his gifts. Of course he could've just been less lazy and actually got a present and he wouldn't even have to be here."

Zack resorted to the weapon of the indignant, he stuck out his tongue. "Oh, shut up. Why're _you_ here anyway? I thought you'd rather be back in our dorm room all warm and cosy."

"I could hardly let you two idiots come up to the rooftops at midnight during a storm. One of you might slip and die or something." Cloud and Zack shared a quick smile. The unspoken reason ('because I hate being alone') was something for only the two of them to hear and understand.

"Awww, I didn't know you loved us that much," Zack mocked, pulling Sephiroth closer and giving him a loud kiss on the forehead.

"Don't kid yourself. If anyone or anything is going to kill you, it'll be me," Sephiroth retorted.

Zack and Cloud laughed, the sound fading away to be replaced with the comfortable white noise of the rain falling. This was their time outside of school, outside of society. It was just the three of them, sitting in the rain, thinking their own thoughts, revelling in the presence of the two others. Times like this made it impossible to remember that Cloud got bullied everyday, that Sephiroth's home was anything but sanctuary, or that Zack was moving away to a different country in a few weeks.

It was just the rain and them.

"So. . .uh, can we go inside now? 'Cos I'm pretty sure my balls just froze off."

* * *

Title: Birthday Gift

Word Count: 208

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Zack/Cloud

Summary: Horses are evil as Seph and Zack find out.

Requested by: **chibirisuchan**

AN: _Zack_, **Sephiroth** , Cloud

_"Ow! Stupid, fucking horse!"_

"Zack! Language."

**"I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Zack. These beasts are from hell."**

"You two are SOLDIERS, elite warriors and all that. Tell me why you can't handle a little horse?"

_"Because horses are evil, and they want to rule the world, starting with killing us." _

"Honestly. Just sit straight, don't tighten your legs, and don't let the horse smell your fear."

**"Too late. Can you remind me why we're doing this?"**

"My birthday gift, remember? You promised that you two would do whatever I ask for."

_"Why couldn't you ask for a sexual favour? That I could've gone for."_

"Why? I like horses. And besides, I get all the sexual favours from you two without any special reasons for it. You two are my bitches."

**"Excuse me?"**

"You heard me."

_"I think he's grown a little too cocky, don't you?"_

**"Indeed. We'll have to punish him."**

"Er, guys. What're you doing? Hey – hold on – don't even – shit!"

_"We're your bitches? Hah! I'll show you who's who's bitch!!"_

The horses, two palfrey and a black, looked at the tangle of arms and legs. Then calmly went back to eating grass. Humans were such strange creatures.

* * *

Title: Blackmail Date

Word Count: 406

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud, Zack

Summary: Cloud sulks, Zack gloats.

Requested by: **anguisel**

AN: References to KH, in honour of the fact that the game's finally coming out in Australia.

He glared.

The other smirked.

He scowled.

The other grinned.

He growled.

The other snickered.

Cloud pouted.

Zack ruffled his hair and called him cute. "I hate you," Cloud told his cousin.

"Why? Because of me, you're getting a date with the hottest guy in our school."

"Do you have any idea what my father would do to me if he found out I was going on a date with a guy? Not to mention what the fangirls are going to do to me if they find out I – " he air-quoted, " – 'stole' their idol. I think lynching will be the least of my worries. And it's all your fault."

Zack held up his hand and backed away. "Hey, it wasn't me that forced you to take pictures of a half-naked Seph and post them all over the school. You could have said no."

"Yeah, if I wanted mother to find out that I was the one who broke her precious vase. You blackmailed me! And now Sephiroth's blackmailing me too."

"You could do worse than the most chased after guy in school," Zack pointed out a little too logically, "You could've landed someone like Ansem." Zack was referring to Sephiroth's fraternal twin, who was about as crazy as anyone could get without landing in an asylum.

"Or someone like you," Cloud snarked, pulling on a black shirt that had 'Sorry, you must've mistaken me for someone who gives a crap' printed on it in crimson red. It was a Christmas present from Zack.

Zack ignored the barb and handed Cloud a dark blue jacket. "Now, don't do anything I wouldn't," he warned.

"So you mean it's all right if I just jump into bed with the first pretty thing that comes my way?"

"Actually, I think it'd be Seph doing the jumping, not you."

Cloud blanched at the image, though a part of him – a very small part – was very interested. "I hate you."

"Mmm," Zack murmured, pushing his cousin out of the door. He led the boy down the stairs and to the front door. Opening the wooden blockade he pushed Cloud out. "Now, come back a man, you hear me?" he quipped.

"I hate you," Cloud repeated succinctly before stomping off to the garage. It was also part of the deal for Cloud to pick up Sephiroth. Zack hoped they both appreciated the lube and condom he had sneaked into the backseat.

* * *

Title: Favours to Humanity

Word Count: 476

Pairing/Characters: Reno, Cloud, a mention of Seph

Summary: Reno the matchmaker has quite a ring to it.

Requested by: **deviatesellen**

AN: a dash of _Weiss Kreuz_ just to amuse me

A lot of people call Reno a cold-hearted bastard, and they'd be right. But he had soft spot for newbies. Particularly newbies that happened to be his room mate. He was walking back from the cafeteria line when he spotted the little blonde sitting all alone at a table. Given that he had yet to do his annual 'favour to humanity', Reno decided he should go and warp the poor boy's mind.

"Hey." He sat down opposite Cloud. To his amusement, the boy looked up with the best deer-in-the-headlight expression. "How's it going?"

"…Fine?" Cloud questioned.

"Good. So I see that you have a crush on Seph." There was nothing like that gobsmacked, what-the-hell-have-you-been-smoking look. Inner Reno cackled crazily, rubbing his hands with glee.

Cloud paled, reddened, and settled on a green-ish colour. "What?" he squeaked.

"I've seen you looking at him. I may not be book smart, but I've got enough street smarts to know when someone is crushing. And you look at him the way Rude looks at his pair of sunnies." Reno point to the tall black teen who was polishing said sunnies with the most besotted look on his face. "It's disturbing and creepy."

"But he's a guy!"

"Who? Rude? Yeah, I know."

"NO!! I mean Sephiroth. I can't like him. I mean, I know I can but I'm not, y'know."

"Gay?" Reno suggested, chewing on a tough piece of beef.

Cloud nodded, ducking his head when Reno continued to stare at him. "Where'd you say you were from?" the redhead asked.

"Nibelheim," his room mated muttered.

"Gotcha," Reno nodded in understanding, "No exposure to the finer points of life; Sex, or gay sex in your case."

If it was possible, Cloud's eyes got rounder. "Are you…?"

"Gay? No. I'm bi, meaning I sleep on both sides of the bed if you know what I mean." Cloud shook his head, causing Reno to heave a heartfelt sigh. "Right. Looks like I'll have to educate you. I wonder if Tseng could help," Reno mused, referring to his sometimes-possibly-boyfriend/fuck-buddy.

Cloud watched Reno warily, slowly starting to edge away. This redhead was as scary as the other redhead that lived in corridor, Schuldich. "Er…right…I've got to go to class."

Reno looked up and found the blonde packing his bag quickly. "That's fine. After dinner we can begin your education. Then we can start planning your seduction of Sephiroth. Don't worry kiddo, we'll get your man."

Cloud wondered if Reno would actually listen to him if he said he had no intention of seducing anyone. Then again, looking at how excited the redhead was, Cloud decided definitely not. "I'm going now."

Busy planning everything Reno did not notice, which was just as well for Cloud. "I think the dark blue leathers pants would work well with the black turtleneck. Maybe I should use makeup. . ."

* * *

Title: Perspectives

Word Count: 557

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Zack/Cloud

Summary: Three different accounts from three very different people about one odd event.

Requested by: anonymous

AN: Safety showers are those things you have in labs to wash off chemicals or burns.

**The account of the three gentlemen involved in the Great Baking Incident of 2006**

_Cloud Strife_

First off, it wasn't my fault. Not really. It was all Zack's fault actually. He was the one who got us into this mess. He used the pathetic, puppy-dog face to convince us that doing Home Ec. was a good idea. I disagree.

It was a horrible idea from the start. Zack can't bake to save his life and Seph's not much better. I wasn't a genius cook but even I knew better to fry the vegetables before meat. But that's not where the trouble really begins. It was the baking thing.

We didn't mean to burn, literally burn, the cake. We were actually just trying to make a birthday cake for Aeris, Sephiroth's sister. But yeah, we were just baking but while we were waiting we got bored. And when Zack gets bored, everyone should just run for the hills. So Zack got bored and he somehow started a food fight, the main weapon was mostly the cream that we were going to use for the cake.

And anyway the food fight and then cleaning and then...um...things..._happened_.

What kind of things? Uh...lots of things. But that's not the point. The point is that we lost track of time and we ended up burning the cake, badly. That's about it. We didn't mean to make the oven explode as well. Or burn the hand towels either.

_Sephiroth Valentine_

I assume that Cloud has already told you what happened. We were cooking, we got distracted, the oven exploded, things got burned.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several assignments that require my attention.

_Zackary Donovan_

Hey! How's it going Mr. Highwind? I'm guessing Cloud didn't tell you everything because he's just so shy and Seph did that whole I've-got-better-things-to-do-than-listen-to-you-plebeians thing that he always does, right?

Yeah, thought so.

So here's what happened. I was just trying to liven things up, y'know? So I started a food fight. Might've been a stupid idea in hindsight but it seemed like a good idea then. After the food fight – Seph got creamed by the way, literally – we had to clean up. Problem was there was only one safety shower. So we kinda maybe had a race. It ended up with all of us falling over. It was hilarious I tell you. I was on the bottom, Seph landed on his back, right on top of me and little Cloud was right on top of him, managing to actually land with his face in Seph's crotch. You should've seen their faces.

So Cloud jumps off, all red and stuff. Seph is still cool and calm. Me? I was cracking up...laughing that is. You should've been there. Anyway!

We were so busy cleaning up ourselves that we forgot about the cake. And it burned, and so did the oven. But yeah, that's it.

What do you mean people heard moans when they were walking past? We weren't doing anything! No, I swear we weren't. Laughing? Yeah, that was because of the food fight.

Are you implying something here? It sounds like you're saying Cloud, Seph, and I were having sex in there or something. Not that it wouldn't be fun if we did. Mmmm, imagine it. Cloud in the middle –

– HEY! No throwing books at students!

* * *

Title: Gender-bender

Word Count: 550

Pairing/Characters: Denzel, Cloud, as well smattering of Reno, Sephy and Zack.

Summary: Denzel is just a poor boy who's confused about Cloud's sexuality.

Requested by: **jessara40k**

AN: I tried for every other character but no one else fit the clueless, WTF feel that Denzel does. I'd have used Sora or Roxas but different fandom.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," Denzel chanted, each 'I hate you' followed quickly by a loud metallic CLANK as he kicked his locker. This was his third morning in Shinra High and it was going very badly. His locker combination never worked. It always required at least twenty kicks and could go as high as fifty before it consented to being opened.

"I don't know what the locker did to deserve such a harsh treatment but it seems to be returning the favour." Denzel turned around so fast only the locker at his back kept him from falling over.

"What?" he blurted out, his mouth speaking before he even saw the person. But when he did see the speaker his mouth dried up and his body froze. The only thought running through his head was: _I'll be your slave if you'll just let me staring into your eyes forever and ever_. The girl was breathtaking. Blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin, and the most exquisite expression on her face. Although it was a little odd that she was dressed in a kimono. Denzel thought he might be in love.

The girl pointed at his shoes and Denzel looked down only to groan out loud when he found the tip of his shoe covered in the green paint that had to have come from the locker. "Arrrrggghh!!!" he snarled. "And they were new too. Stupid locker." He kicked the door again, not caring anymore that his shoes were most definitely a lost cause now.

"Hold on. I used to have this locker last year. Just wait a minute." She knelt down in her kimono and tugged on the handle, twisting it up sharply before pulling it down. To Denzel's surprise, the door opened. She looked up with a smile that made Denzel's breath catch. "It's really weird but you have to push up and then down. You can't hold it up either."

"Er – thanks." She grinned and stood up.

"You're welcome. I have to go but maybe I'll see you later." Denzel was left watching the beautiful girl as she walked away from him. He grabbed the first student to walk pass him, it turned out to be Reno, and spun him around to face the walking beauty.

"Who's that girl?"

Reno looked from the girl back to Denzel and burst out laughing. Denzel shared his stare between Reno and the girl, wondering who to look at. In the time Reno took to control his laughter the girl was joined by two other girls also dressed in kimonos. One had long silver hair and a kind of androgynous beauty though he was far too tall for most males to be comfortable with. The other looked somewhat like the first girl with wild hair and a grin. "That," Reno choked out, pointing at the blonde, "is Cloud. And the others are Sephiroth and Zack. They're all guys. Really hot guys, but most definitely guys. They're dressed for Crossdressing and Transgender Awareness day. Oh man, Cloud a chick! I can't wait to tell Vinnie." He started to cackle again, stumbling away and walking into a few people. It took two minutes for Denzel to process the information.

. . . CRACK!

That was the sound of his mind breaking.

* * *

Title: Dear Diary

Word Count: 666

Pairing/Characters: Seph/Cloud

Summary: Cloud finds the truth has always been there, he's just blind.

Requested by: **kalindara**

AN: with a little Zack/Kadaj for **drkangelyahriel** because it amuses me. And the irony of the word count is not lost on me.

Dear Diary,

Kadaj's brother is a prick. No, seriously. It's like he has this stick shoved up so far up his arse I'm surprised his words aren't choked off. I seriously don't know what Zack sees in him. Then again, I suppose it doesn't matter because Zack's going out with Kadaj, not Sephiroth.

ARRRGGHH!!! But seriously, I said 'hello' and he gives me this horrible look and walks off. Would it hurt him to say 'hello' back? An every time I try to talk to him he just walks off without saying anything.

And Zack and Kadaj weren't helping either. They were just either making out or watching us and giggling like crazy. When I told Zack what I though of Sephiroth he gave me this blank look. And then said, "I think you should give him a chance. Who knows, maybe he'll get nicer the more you know him". Then he said something about I should play nice with his best friend since it's likely we'll be spending more time over there.

Ugh, hormonal, love-sick bastard. I suppose he's right though.

Dear Diary,

How long should a stick take to come out of a prick's arse? Not a whole month that's for sure.

I've been trying and trying and trying. And apparently I suck because no matter what I do he still doesn't like me. At least he talks to me now. Although, the only words I've heard him say are "Get out of my way" and "Number five's wrong". Okay, there are variations on that theme, sometime's it's "You're in my way" and "B's wrong". Whoopdie-doo.

And Zack's all "He likes you, he really does. He's just shy." Riiiiight, the day the great Sephiroth's shy is the day I get into SOLDIERs. Meaning, never.

You know what? Screw him. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Tomorrow I'm going to ask him what the hell is making him hate me so much. Then I'm going to ask him what I'll have to do to make him like me. Because I swear my head is going to explode from those weird stares he keeps giving me.

Dear Diary,

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Dear Diary,

This can't be happening to me.

Whhyyyyy!!

Urgh. This is possibly the worst thing I've ever written in this diary.

Zack. Was. Right.

Oh lord, how he was right. Sephiroth does like me. I mean, really like me. As in, as-soon-as-he-told-me-he-jumped-me-and-practically-smothered-me likes me. What am I supposed to do now?

I have a girlfriend for God's sake. Aeris is a nice girl and she's so pretty and – hold on, someone's knocking on my door. Be right back.

- Karma is out to get me. That was Aeris and she saw Sephiroth kiss me. And that's not even the worse part. She was smiling and giggling and squealing. She told me that she now understood why I've never done anything more than hold her hands at the movies. And apparently she's really happy that I've finally accepted myself and hopes that I'll be happy with Sephiroth. And the last thing she said really hurt 'I'm not surprised you're gay'.

What the hell does that mean?!? Even my girlfriend thought I was gay!!! Is there no justice – Fuck! If that's Zack I'm gonna kill him.

Dear Diary,

It's been a week since I've written. And here's why:

Sephiroth asked me out

Aeris and Tifa decided I was going to be their gay mascot

Zack and Kadaj are planning on moving to their own place

So they did. They're so lucky

I went out with Sephiroth

I'm trying to deal with the fact that I'm gay and like Sephiroth

The fangirls are trying to kill me.

I hate my life

_Hmm, so this is what you're always writing in. It's a good read. By the way, how do you feel about doing a double date with Zack and Kadaj._

Dear Diary,

My boyfriend is an arse.


End file.
